Thanks for your email, all the symptoms you are describing are very common and things we see in the salon on an every day basis. In fact i myself am a victim of fine hair with oily roots so i more than appreciate how difficult this hairtype can be to manage particularly when the weather is not great outside. ...More >
The best advice i can give, is to go to the top salon in your area and have consultation with the best stylist. Consultations are usually free of charge and you can pick their brains as to what colour and style they think will suit your hair and skin tone.
Without seeing your hair i can offer some general advice that will work for most people with the hair problems you mentioned. Firstly, I would suggest having a gloss colour. A gloss colour is a quasi permanent colour which will give a translucent coverage to your grey hair, making them less obvious and adding to the rest of your hair body and shine. The benefit of this type of colour over a permanent tint is the up keep, permanent tint covers grey hair better but it sounds to me that you are a low maintenance kind of girl and getting a gloss done will densify the hair without giving a definite regrowth as it fades so you can have it done when you have special things coming up, such as weddings.
My second tip would be to have a fringe, this doesnít mean having a school girl style there are many different types of fringe, one for almost every hairtype and face shape in fact. A long side fringe will add softness when you are wearing the hair up in a ponytail everyday and will slim the face when you wear your hair down on a night out.
My best tip for solving every day greasiness is to let the shampoo do the work, dont massage or vigourously scrub the scalp as you are encouraging more sebum. I recommend kerastase bain clarifant as an excellent detox shampoo to be used alongside your anti-dandruff products. You are right not to use conditioner on the roots as the natural sebum will be keeping that area healthy but then this doesnt tend to travel to the ends. Using a light conditioner like kerstase ciment anti usure will make sure the hair is detangled and easier to comb.
For styles on the wedding day i would look to the red carpet, jennifer anniston and sandra bullock are great examples of how fine shoulder length hair can be glamourous and full of life. i recommend getting a professional blowdry on the morning of the wedding as well, your stylist should have all the products and tools needed to give a photo finish look that lasts the whole day.
I hope this helps and if you are in the North West come in and see us and I can go through what shape and styles i think would work specifically for you.